Currently, I am losing my mind and for once it has nothing to do with anxiety or depression or anything medication-related.
No. This has to do with my best girl’s wedding in DC. I love her, but my brain is melting.
Everyone is trying to be helpful except for the matron of honor. She’s standing back from the crowd, and she has the right idea. The maid of honor and the mother of the bride are discussing the sister of the bride messing with the decorations. The sister is frustrated because the decorations aren’t classy enough for my friend. The wedding is tomorrow at noon.
Oh, and everyone’s nails and hair was supposed to be done today, but that did not get even close to done. Our poor cosmotologist is going out of her mind.
Let’s add in that the mother of the bride is a spitfire who argues EVERYTHING. You can repeat her words right back to her and she will fight you on everything you just said. She does not speak American English. I have learned through this experience that Bahamian English doesn’t translate well.
Looks like it’s time for the rehearsal dinner. Until next time.
Can’t believe I haven’t written in a month! Holy crap! I thought it’d been maybe two weeks, but no. A month. Wow.
The last few weeks have been kind of bizarre. I interviewed for two positions within the company. I completely bombed the one interview (it’s okay; I think we were equally disillusioned with one another). The second interview went well enough that they offered me the job. It’s an actual IT position, and they want to take one of my projects from my current job and expand it. I, of course, accepted without a second thought.
Beyond that, I’ve done sort of well with my writing. Devin and Patrick are both annoying me, so I keep revisiting old manuscripts to figure out what’s going on. I think I need to do a short time jump because Devin’s currently having the most mundane conversation with her mother. I have to remind myself again and again that I’m not actually starting this story over, that I’ve actually completed it a few times and there are things from previous manuscripts that should be saved.
Most of my journaling has been in a paper journal or in my head. I’ve not reflected much of my life in the last month just because I want nothing to do with most of it. I’m sincerely trying to do this one-day-at-a-time thing, but it’s hard. I’m programmed to focus on the future.
Currently, I’m in Dallas with my mom and a good friend I haven’t seen in years. I’m learning a lot from him that I can use toward my writing. In fact, this entire trip has been filled with things I can use toward my writing, including a fortuitous seating assignment on the plane ride over. A deep conversation with my neighbor taught me a lot about being a good leader, a good supervisor. Again, I may never use these things in my life off the page, but I can certainly apply them to my stories.
That’s the nutshell of this last month. I’m waiting on a start date for the new position. I’m excited to be starting the next phase of my accidental career. I also have an impending deadline to complete my manuscript. Wherever I happen to be by that date is where the story will stop. I have a goal in mind and it’s going to take some considerable sticktoitiveness to get there.
I hope you’re all having wonderful Aprils. We’ll talk again soon.
You know those days when you couldn’t make this shit up if you tried?
Someday, I am going to write a book starring the interesting people in my life. It’s going to start with a simple explanation of what I do (airplanes!), and then many examples of the people who can’t tell an airplane from a cruise ship.
I love my job.
Sorry for disappearing off the face of the planet. Between work and life, I’ve been a little overwhelmed. That’s really the only word to describe me right now–overwhelmed. I’m looking forward to starting school again so I can be distracted 100% of the time, although I’m concerned about my energy levels. Wednesday, I wanted to do a million things until I walked downstairs. I didn’t respond to a single email, much less walk out of the house.
Monday, Taylor and I flew an hour and a half due north to deliver a cactus to a family with a small child (part of our “One Cactus per Child” effort to help raise ecological awareness in children age 9 mos – 2 years).
On the way home, I struck up a conversation with a perfect stranger over the glittering Phoenix landscape. It was incredible–the freedom of a “getting to know you” conversation. People are so much more interesting when you don’t know anything about them. So few people remain interesting once you know them.
That’s my biggest issue in a nutshell, I guess. I’m anxious about work. I’m bored with people. Few other things intrigue me. I spend most of my days creating magic out of spreadsheets, because my language is numbers. I haven’t spoken the language of “people” in months, except for freak interactions on airplanes. Right now, people bore me. The few who don’t are largely inaccessible–granted, often by my own personal barriers.
The puzzle is what to do now. Overcome the anxiety and boredom? Or ride it out?
Sorry for the slightly ADD manner of writing. I’m ready to drift off to sleep. Cohesive thoughts are not my strong suit this afternoon. I used up all that magic at work around 3 am.