New Doctor, New Meds

Holy hell, the cost of aripiprazole (generic Abilify) is RIDICULOUS.

Here’s the rundown (fair warning, I’ve been up for 24 hours, so some of the following may be nonsensical rambling):

  • Had first meeting with new shrink. We’ll call him Man-Doctor. Felt like I was walking into rehab: had to take a drug test, all the normal blood pressure/height/weight crap, and then shuffled to a back office to be grilled by the doc.
  • Immediately felt like he didn’t believe a word I said.
  • When we talked about meds, he said the Dr. D already had me on twice the recommended dosage for bipolar disorder, so no increase. 
  • Man-Doctor informed me that lamotrigine (Lamictal) only treats bipolar depression, not bipolar mania. That revelation honestly explains a lot. This is where $$$Abilify$$$ enters the picture.
  • Foot fell asleep during the interrogation, so when I stood to leave I just about fell over. I told pseudo-concerned Man-Doctor, “I’m good. I’m just going to walk like an idiot for a minute.” The doc in the next office over laughed; Man-Doctor looked at me like I was nuts (or maybe I had somehow made an offensive comment?).

Oy. So that’s where I’m at on my road to mood management. I’ve not been too bad–my mania isn’t nearly as debilitating as my depression, so as long as the latter is at bay, I generally manage alright.

Work is a constantly moving target. As soon as I think I finally understand something a new facet appears. Universe: “You’re starting to understand printers? Let’s see how well you understand them in conjunction with this random-ass error.” I’m taking a couple of programming classes which will help a little, but I think my next class has to be network basics of some sort. Welcome to IT.

Pimping out my book is another semi-frustrating task. I’m gearing up to send another round of queries. I missed a super-awesome agent in my last go-around so I plan to remedy that error. The only thing holding me back right now is a piece of feedback I got from a trusted colleague, so I’m debating on making two small edits before sending it into more slush piles. 

Oh, and I’m going to overhaul the query letter. Writing a query letter is like writing a cover letter for a job you know you’re qualified for but have no evidence to prove it unless you get an interview. Writing a query and having to say, “I have no previous writing credits” is utterly terrifying. Somehow “Please read my blog that was supposed to be about writing but turned into a conversation about mental health” doesn’t have the desired effect.

Anyway. I’m probably going on too much about this, but it’s stressful. I know other writers feel the same way.

Thanks for hanging in with me and indulging my brand of crazy, guys. You’re amazing people. Keep at it.

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