I hate when I’m okay, the day is going well, and then my brain takes a dive. Suddenly, I’m where I was three months ago, barely able to keep it together, thoughts rolling through my head that should be gone. Better yet, I’m alone. This can’t happen when I’m alone.
I’m looking for distraction, the ability to concentrate on my writing, white noise to push away the thoughts. I thought I was done with this. They haven’t been so bad lately. I’ve been able to function as a normal human being, as the positive, productive, optimistic writer I want to be.
Why can’t this just be numbness? Why does it have to tear me down?
I hear wind outside. Maybe that’s where I need to be.