Still overwhelmed. Still plodding through the daily routine. I might take this weekend (this evening and tomorrow) to focus on the novel. That, and spend time with Taylor. I need his perspective on some decisions I’m making.
I’m honestly still debating on the school thing, and I have to decide by next Thursday. With all of the responsibilities I’ve taken on at work, my perpetual exhaustion, and my persistent frustration, I’m wondering if school is a smart idea. I feel like I should be able to handle it–I should be able to handle everything, right? None of the other supervisors seem to struggle keeping up with their responsibilities. How do I not struggle either?
I feel like this weekend should be a working weekend, just to make some headway. At the same time . . . I really just don’t want to.
Plus, my personal life has been weighing on my mind for about a week now–not the same ol’. Instead, wondering what the next step forward is, and how to take it. I’ve got some ideas, but I need some help from the Universe to make any sort of relationship a risk worth taking. I don’t know. Maybe I should just do school and work and leave the rebounding for next summer. My problem? I don’t do meaningless. I really, really wish I did; it would make this easier for now. Meaningless wouldn’t take away from work or school. Meaningless would be fun, an escape from reality. I’ve never had a meaningless relationship–not even with acquaintances. It’s not part of my make up.
God, so much rambling. Okay. I’m done. I’m tired, I’m still grumpy. I think I’m going to have a beer and write. Maybe more than one beer.