Back to not sleeping well–or rather, not falling asleep easily. Bad thoughts intermingling with good thoughts intermingling with the desire to get stuff done. I feel stuck. I’m stuck in this mindset, in this cycle of good and bad, productive and unproductive. I don’t know how to fix me. The meds only do so much. The rest is me.

I’m so lost. Getting to sleep is hard. Waking up is hard. Getting through the day is hard. I’m trying to stay positive. I watch funny videos, listen to funny songs, and in the end, my mind circles back to the same negative things. It’s making me crazy. I need to break the cycle. Where’s the door to the circular room? Where’s the interruption in the circle? On which side will the merry-go-round stop?

Why hasn’t it stopped yet? Why am I not better yet? How do I fix this?

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