Day 20-something. (24! Has it really been that long since my meltdown? Also, Thursday)
Lord. What a day. My mentor and I were frustrated out of our minds, trying to accomplish the tasks set to us on previous days, but the boss kept assigning the tasks faster than our little hands could complete them. I recalled my time at Denny’s, when I used to go into the freezer on rough nights and literally “chill out.” (My office could really use a walk-in freezer, if anyone wants to front the funds.)
Bright side: Boss thinks we can rock all of these assignment.
Brighter side: if we get any more assignments, we may be forced to develop a cloning system so that there are enough of us to actually get everything done, and then we can retire on the royalties after we patent the system.
I’m religiously drinking herbal tea to keep my anxiety levels low. I haven’t had caffeine (save a square of chocolate) in, like, 6 days or something. Lots of tea, though. Tea, salads . . . possibly a pizza and a fantastic hefeweisen (SanTan Brewing Company) last night.
My dreams have switched from being anxiety-driven clusterfucks to being hopeful, so that’s a great sign on the mood side of things. I’m still keeping the appointment with the psychiatrist on Tuesday. I can’t expect my mood to stay up like this, and I’d rather not revisit my “Crying Alone At Starbucks” phase anytime soon. Or ever. Unless they’re happy tears, in which event, I will certainly not be alone. I’m happiest with my loved ones, so sue me.
(Also, if anyone wants to drop a hot venti hazelnut latte with 2% by the office around 6am, I will sing your praises for, like, however long it is until I go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a LOOOOONG day.)
As the mood continues to be up, up, up, so is the relationship with music (Arctic Monkeys hasn’t brought me to tears in at least a week). The song stuck in my head now is Mumford & Sons latest single, “Believe.” The song only struck a bajillion chords with me, to the point that each time it played at work today (thank you, 93.3 AltAZ), I paused and just listened to the song and blocked out the rest of the drama (Meditation: 1, Stress: still winning anyway).
Favorite lyric: “Say something like you love me / that you wanna move away from the noise of this place.” Ahhhh.
Lastly, happy, happy birthday to Trish, who definitely doesn’t read this blog, but whom I love and wish absolutely the best. There are not words to say how much I respect and miss her.