Transparency

Day 12 (Saturday)

Through the course of this blog, I have tried to be extremely transparent. I hate having a conversation with someone who is clearly withholding information. In my opinion, withholding information makes a conversation null and void, because the full picture is not presented. I view this blog as a conversation between you, dear readers, and me, the neurotic author who should really be going on meds sometime soon.

This is a reflection of how I live day to day. I don’t guard my emotions. People know when I’m upset or tired or elated. Don’t get me wrong–I have learned to balance professionalism with my personal issues.

I have amazing people, at work and outside, who are doing their best to keep me going. After showing up to work in a black hoodie, clutching a teddy bear, and sitting cross-legged in an office chair while struggling to keep control, my mentor and a good friend surprised me with brightly colored flowers on two separate occasions.

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In addition, the question, “What’s with the teddy bear?” was only asked once.

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On the left is obviously Pooh Bear; on the right is my work buddy, Winston. Pooh’s been to the office more recently, though.

I’m grateful for the people who keep pushing, reaching, trying to understand. I know I’m not making it easy. There are a lot of people who would not be able to grasp the concept of a grown woman sitting at her desk, holding a teddy bear like her life depended on it. I’m most grateful for the people who don’t understand, but accept it anyway.

Hopefully, next week will bring an upswing, laughter, contentment, joy–the things I can’t seem to get a good grasp on right now.

If I don’t see you tomorrow, have a happy Easter. Religious holiday or not, please take the time to tell your loved ones how much they matter to you.

PS: Dear WordPress, the new posting format sucks. Please stop making me use it.

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