Day 6 (Sunday)
Still ups and downs today. Obsessive behavior, trying to keep it under control but temptation is always there . . . so back to the television, back to the distractions. Keeps me from thinking.
Ideally, tomorrow will bring a call from the psychiatrist, and the opportunity to move forward with professional help.
I’m looking forward to my days off. Tuesday and Wednesday . . . I don’t know what I’m going to do those days, but I’m imagining a beach, the sea breeze, and freedom from myself, my thoughts, my mistakes, my problems.
Freedom from the reality that right now, the only thing holding me together is a 6-year-old teddy bear.