Maybe

Maybe it hurts so much because I’m finally grieving.

Maybe it hurts because I’ve realized there really is no going back.

Maybe it’s because I’ve lost the closest friend I’ve ever had.

Maybe it’s because I know it’s entirely my fault.

Maybe it’s because I know it had to happen to grow.

Maybe life just seems stupid and pointless without that intimacy.

Maybe it’s the intimacy I’m grieving, not him.

Maybe I just want one more night for things to be normal

Maybe I just need someone to look at me the way he did

Maybe that will make these feelings go away

Maybe I’m jealous that he’s moved on

Maybe I’m jealous that I can’t

Maybe it’ll stop hurting soon

Maybe someone will love me the way I deserve

Maybe this is what I deserve.

 

****

Sometimes, when you’re looking back in a moment of desperate loneliness, you can only remember the good things.  It’s imperative to remember that there was a reason things had to change. Hold on to those reasons. Use them as your inspiration to move forward.

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